1. Did you know that without corruption there will be NO autos running on the road today. Why do we people in Chennai get into an Auto even though we know that he is fleecing us by not using the meter? Convenience my friends. I don’t want to go through the process of looking for the next auto or use the bus. Because I don’t have the time to do so. I am a mighty busy man and I have to rush. No Time No Time… is the mantra, All the Time.

2. Ok, so I am at the bus – stop and waiting for the bus (ofcourse not trying to line maro the girls there Nandhini will kick me you see. ) so the bus is coming in and I see that the bus driver who is sitting in his mighty seat has decided to stop 50 mtrs away from the bus stop. I go rushing and jostling so I can get a place to stand/sit in the bus. If passengers don’t board the bus the driver and conductor will not have a job, will they? But no I don’t have time for that either.

I don’t see the point in one man #Anna #Hazare asking the government to pass the Lokpal Bill. Infact I don’t see much change even after the Lokpal bill is passed. (Don’t get me wrong I am so proud that a 70 year old man is fasting asking for the rights of an entire nation) I will still do things the way I have always done them. Because today I know of people who have a fixed budget to pay as bribe to traffic cops.

Activity for you

ask THIS  BOY to get his license before he touches his bike again and I promise you, we will be a far better nation the very next day. This is his Twitter Page…

It is not like I wanted to pick on him. He is a brother to me. But then there are thousands of such people who ride without a license. Even some of the smarter girls (girls are smarter and much more clever than the men folk) think it is cool to ride/drive without a license. (BTW Women make the best drivers, No I am not a feminist)

In a democracy if I dont care about my wrong doings, those governing me will not be bothered either. Please do understand that public servants and our Chor leaders have become so because I let them become thieves. I need to change before I ask anyone else to change.Till then no point going to Marina Beach, Gandhi Statue at 5pm on the 9th of April 2011 unless you want to gawk at that crow shit on the statue of Gandhiji.

I will BE THE CHANGE. Will you?

P.S. : All those freedom fighters got us freedom, look what I have made of it.  If Anna Hazare gets us this Lokpal Bill in place, I will find ways and means of twisting it to my convenience. Because in a country of a Billion I need to be on my toes so I don’t have to be a slumdog. Unless I will BE THE CHANGE.

Early morning flight to Mumbai was good. I flew Indigo and I have to say they have a pretty neat airplane and some pretty hostess’s. Next was a 4 hour wait at the Mumbai terminal to catch my connecting flight to Nagpur – The City of Oranges. It was such a relief to be back on board another Indigo Airlines flight. But I was surprised to see about 30 people of assorted age traveling as a group. They were all hyper about being on board and there were some loud-mouthed discussions about beaches and firangi nangi women. I assumed they were returning from Goa via Mumbai. Even while the flight was preparing for take off some of the younger men of the group were busy taking photographs of the air hostess’s who seemed tickled by the extra-attention they were getting.

The minute the flight was in the air and the seat belt sign was gone the lone old man (addressed as “Kaka” by the rest of the group) sitting next to me by the window seat jumped out and was opening a bag from the overhead cabin I was worried that he had some medical condition and needed to get his medicines and but he starts whistling at the young air hostess gives her a big smile and takes out a huge packet of Haldiram’s Bhujia Sev from his bag. Next with a smirk on his face he yelled out to the air hostess just like he would yell at a servant maid and asks her to bring cups. The air -hostess rushed to get them all paper cups. Now Kaka ji fills his paper cup with Bhujia Sev and passes the pack around so that the others in his group could also have their fix. [1]

Snakes on a plane or Snacks on a plane #youprefer

Next, another man rushed to his bag and pulled out several oranges and soon the flight was filled with that citrusy smell. Kakaji offered me a cup of Bhujia Sev and some oranges. He gave me gyaan that it was the best food in the world I did not really want to eat Bhujia Sev at about 12 noon so I politely declined his offer. He was not happy and he realized that my Hindi was shaky and asked me where I was from and when he realized that I was from Chennai he started praising my Hindi saying that Madarasis dont speak in hindi and how come I could speak passable Hindi? He asked me a lot of questions for most of which I just gave a smile.

He introduced himself as a Wholesale Cloth Merchant from Nagpur and that he and 28 members from the Nagpur Cloth wholesellers association were returning from their annual vacation. It was Goa this time and he went on and on about all the white women in bikinis and how they all had a mast time. Soon it was time to land and the air hostess’s were busy asking people to put their seats in the upright position. I had to use the washroom and I was gone a a while.Next is what I gathered from an air hostess.

Apparently Kakaji wanted to sit on the aisle seat (so he could rush out first after the plane had landed ) and requested the passenger on the aisle seat to move to his window seat. The gentleman had moved and Kakaji took his aisle seat. At about this time the plane hit a air pocket and the Bhujia Sev and Oranges from the over head cabin rolled out and fell on Kakaji’s head.

It was quite a scene. The air hostess’s had to ask everyone to remain seated while they went about the job of collecting the oranges for Kakaji while he sat in his aisle seat with that smirk on his face and his hair filled with Bhujia Sev.

[1] The scene reminded me of this ashram in a city I used to live in. You could just walk in there and sit around the swamiji and get free drags on his chillum. The swamiji was too stoned to realize that the people were there for his chillum and not for his stoned discourses on life and death.

Sharing a sweet kiss with a loved one should not only be spontaneous but also with Love and Affection. If you have plans on tickling the tonsils of your loved one in public then you should consider getting a room. Affection in public is cool. But then Tonsil tickling, breast rubbing, penis rubbing, dry humping, ass grabbing is so NOT cool. Surely not in a public park for the viewing of all and sundry. I know there are people who feel that love should not be inhibited. But the acts that I have mentioned above may not be an embarrassment for you shameless people who indulge in it but it is surely an embarrassment for those who have to see you.

After having watched too many English Movies, IndianTonsil Ticklers now feel that Tonsil Tickling in public is cool. The way you tonsil ticklers are doing it is way too CREEPY and SLY. You can’t give your lady/guy love a full passionate kiss with your eyes closed and the lips doing the work. You have to have your eyes wide open looking for people who are watching you. It is like you get a kick out of people watching you (Voyeur of Voyeurs). Your tongues should be cut off. You are not fit to kiss. Atleast not in public.

I am not against kissing or holding hands or even cuddling in public. But going at the guy/girl of your present dream, like he/she may not be around tomorrow makes me feel that you have paid the guy/girl by the hour and now you are trying to make use of her like you would use a whore. Not only are you not respecting him/her but you are making a public spectacle out of it.

Anyways I wish and pray and hope that the next time you tickle his/her tonsils he/she will puke on your face. The next time your tongue is in his/her ear it starts oozing pus and when that happens I hope someone takes a picture of the state of your face. Would truly be a KODAK moment. Happy Tickling!

Some Interesting stuff I read.

http://thisladysays.blogspot.com/2007/10/public-display-of-affection.html

http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/public-displays-of-affection.cfm

http://www.speakeasy.org/~jmabel/travels/pda.html

http://eurout.org/2009/08/05/penny-your-thoughts-public-display-affection?page=0,3

http://www.nypress.com/article-14228-lust-life-public-displays-of-affection.html

Under the proposed partnership:

- Nokia would adopt Windows Phone as its principal smartphone strategy, innovating on top of the platform in areas such as imaging, where Nokia is a market leader.

- Nokia would help drive the future of Windows Phone.  Nokia would contribute its expertise on hardware design, language support, and help bring Windows Phone to a larger range of price points, market segments and geographies.

- Nokia and Microsoft would closely collaborate on joint marketing initiatives and a shared development roadmap to align on the future evolution of mobile products.

- Bing would power Nokia’s search services across Nokia devices and services, giving customers access to Bing’s next generation search capabilities.  Microsoft adCenter would provide search advertising services on Nokia’s line of devices and services.

- Nokia Maps would be a core part of Microsoft’s mapping services.   For example, Maps would be integrated with Microsoft’s Bing search engine and adCenter advertising platform to form a unique local search and advertising experience

- Nokia’s extensive operator billing agreements would make it easier for consumers to purchase Nokia Windows Phone services in countries where credit-card use is low.

- Microsoft development tools would be used to create applications to run on Nokia Windows Phones, allowing developers to easily leverage the ecosystem’s global reach.

- Nokia’s content and application store would be integrated with Microsoft Marketplace for a more compelling consumer experience.

“Today, developers, operators and consumers want  compelling mobile products, which include not only the device, but the software, services, applications and customer support that make a great  experience,” Stephen Elop, Nokia President and CEO, said at a joint news conference in London. “Nokia and Microsoft will combine our strengths to deliver an ecosystem with unrivalled global reach and scale. It’s now a three-horse race.”

“I am excited about this partnership with Nokia,” said Steven A. Ballmer, Microsoft CEO. “Ecosystems thrive when fueled by speed, innovation and scale. The partnership announced today provides incredible scale, vast expertise in hardware and software innovation and a proven ability to execute.”

In a country of a billion plus people of which 40% are earning less than a Rs. 50 a day. It is a sad to hear some smart as an ass politician duping the ex-chequer of more than a lakh crore rupees(Trust me I am having a hard time counting the zeroes) and getting caught. It is insulting to the people who bought these parties to power.

Raja is a no one. He is a mere puppet and he has been used so much that the ropes that were attached to his limbs have been cut-off and he has fallen into the trap. But rest assured some people are happy he has been arrested and some have said all this is just humbug and a simple eye-wash.

Now how does a Magician perform a trick? Mis-direction!

Karunanidhi is one of the greatest political magicians of all time (evil none the less) Raja is the misdirection. Now wait for him to pull the rabbit out of his yellow shawl and then we can all clap our hands and applaud him. Because at this age he can still control Azhagiri who is a major political storm in Madurai, Stalin who has been touted to be his heir, Kanimozhi who I believe is the cause of all this problem and the entire DMK party.

At the cost of being called sexist (though I am far from it) I am going to say this, in Tamil there is a saying… “Penn Budhi Pinn Budhi” meaning a woman’s mind is a backward mind. Well there are several rumours of the alleged affair between Raja and Kanimozhi (frankly, I don’t care). This could possibly be a factor in this whole looting affair.

But Raja’s merciless disregard for the common man, Karunanidhi’s support for Raja, and the involvement of the corporates disgusts me.

We don’t live in a democracy. We live in a country where corruption is the law. I have nothing against these politicians. But the way things are it is just pathetic and the people look like a bunch of jokers in this world.

By the way till the very end we will never know if Raja is actually guilty.

And Arindam Chaudhuri is another story…

Here are some of the other posts that I enjoyed reading

Reva’s Poem on the Spectrum

Kanimozhi and the seven Dwarfs